Love, Yakult

Ayon sa Psychology 101, mabuti ang pagsusulat tungkol sa iyong mga emotions. It promotes better health, just like Yakult does.

I came up with this idea after reading two sucky A JUICES chapters of Santrock's stupid psych book. They call this cathartic writing, na ang nagpasimuno ay isang [insert proper adjective] man who goes by the name of Sigmund Freud.

Naisip ko lang na lagi na lamang akong api in terms of life. Pero as I see it, masaya naman ako kahit papaano. Parang amidst all the troubles I go through everyday, in the end, I still have my two legs and feet and stand up. It is a painful experience, pero hey, masaya pa rin naman ako kahit papaano. Nasanay na ata ako sa buhay na ganito.

Naisip ko kasi yung isang taong kilala ko. Palagi syang masaya, pero iba yung hapiness nya I guess. Sa tingin ko, hindi niya alam kung ano ang rejection kasi never ko pa naman siyang nakitang nireject ng tao o kaya ng isang grupo. Yun, lagi siya sigurong masaya kasi hindi siya nirereject ng tao. Pero ngayon, hinaharap niya ang isa sa mga biggest rejections sa buhay niya.

Parang... Indigestion? Gluttony? Pakonti-konti lang para matunawan, huwag maging matakaw para hindi mahirapan ang tiyan. Ang pangit naman nung analogy ko.

Pero okay lang, andyan naman ang Yakult, with probiotics for digestion.

Parang artista. Halimbawa, si Ate Shawie. Super duper sikat niya and all, miski lumobo na siya to immeasurable proportions [hyperbole to prove a point, baka makaoffend ako ng mga Sharonians diyan at bugbugin ako or something]. Never pa atang nagkatime na nawala siya sa limelight. I mean, miski nung buntis siya, nasa industriya pa rin siya. Eh paano kung for some catastrophic reason, hindi na siya sikat at biglang naging poor na silang mag-anak? I bet my pwet, mahihirapan sila ng todo. Hindi kasi ata laki sa hirap sina Ate Shawie eh. Hindi ko sila maimagine na kumakain sila ng asin at kanin for their single meal sa isang araw. I mean, mahihirapan talaga sila. O kaya si Kris diba? Masaya ba kaya talaga sila? From what I hear [hindi ko po ito opinyon, opinyon po ng ibang tao], si Ate Shawie raw eh plastic. Parang ako naman, ows? She looks nice sa screen. Eh si Kris?

Gawa tayo ng example. Kunwari, si Azerbaijanbaku, isang very poor taong kalye na hindi naligo for three years at nilalayuan ng tao ay pinulot ng Ambush Makeover. Wow, pogi nya pala, gayot pala siya, ganda pala ipin niya, so nadiscover ng Starstruck at naging next big thing sa mga tili ng mga babae at badaffy. Isabay natin dito ang pag-upos ng kinang ng isang fictitious starlet named Kristeta na super yaman at super sikat na ang pay ay nasa P750,000 per show. Pareho silang maninibago, pero mas malaki ang paninibago ni Kristeta. Kung hindi ninyo maintindihan kung bakit, too bad, hindi ko iexplain.

~

Parang yung taong palaging masaya... Sa tingin ko, maganda maging mababaw, pero hindi siguro mararamdaman ng ganitong klaseng tao ang tunay na kaligayahan. I mean, nevermind. Maybe they are, at ang hapiness na iyon ay being happy all the time.

Yung taong palaging malungkot... will never know what true sadness is? Ewan ko. Hindi ako some psycho psychologist to bother. Hindi ako kasing talino ni Sigmund Freud at ni Carl Jung or ni [insert some person with a yearly qpi higher than 2.28].

*sigh*

Ang init no? Kanina ata nasa 38.xx degrees yung init eh.

I guess life doesn't tell you na maswerte ka pala at nasa sitwasyon kang ganyan. Yun ang masaklap eh.

Dr. Shirota, do you have a Yakult for the indigestion of life?

Basa sa ulan

"I love walking in the rain because no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin

The greatest comedian who ever lived may be the saddest soul that died in the face of this world.

Lethargic

For the past week, I have noticed that I was sleeping a whole lot later (well earlier to be exact) than before. I was sleeping at around 4-5 am and waking up at noon. Well, for one thing, mosquitoes sting and itch when they bite. I can't light a mosquito coil in my room because it might start a fire or it might kill be due to allergic reactions. The air is also very dry and stale, not to mention it being so hot. But it is weird that my face is clearing of pimples even if I always do a graveyard shift. My eyebags aren't as prominent as before too, I think.

And for the past week, mamie isn't as naggy as before. It's alright for her, well maybe not entirely, of me waking up at noon. I don't know, but she often scolds me if I sleep through the whole morning. But the past week, she wasn't. It was again, weird to see this as she was a person of complete and exact perfection.

I was enjoying the darkness every time I turned of the bright lamp by the computer, sneaked to my bathroom and brush my teeth, and every time I lied on my back until the sandman visits me. The darkness. It is everything to me now. I feel safe when I'm in the dark. I feel secure whenever I sit myself in the corner of my old bed amidst the silent darkness. But I don't like my eyes to be closed. I want them to be wide open in the dark.

Wide open in the dark, searching for some light. Groping for some light.

And yes, I think I am going insane because 4 out of the 5 dreams I remember are about a person whom I dreamed of before and now, I am dreaming of again. It eases my pain whenever I see this person in my dreams, because in reality, I could never ever be with this person.

Sometimes, I wake up at 9. But I go to sleep again.
I wake at 10. Still sleepy.
11 am. Five minutes more, okay?
I shut my eyes for a second, and when I open them, its already half past noon.

I'm hungry, so I get up. The sad thing about waking up so late is that I get to do the dishes, which is having a very itchy and rashy effect on my left palm. Oh well.

Every time I wake up, I feel more and more lethargic. These days, I like being idle a lot.

Maybe I feel lethargic because my blood sugar levels are high or some hormonal imbalance in my body.

Well, I think it's because I am getting tired of life.


But here I am still here.


I'm tired of life.
I'm getting tired of saying I'm tired of life.
I'm getting tired of saying I'm getting tired of saying I'm tired of life.
I'm getting tired of saying I'm getting tired of saying I'm getting tired of saying I'm tired of life.
I'm getting tired of saying I'm getting tired of saying I'm getting tired of saying I'm getting tired of saying I'm tired of life....


2:38 am na. Hindi pa ako inaantok.

*edit*

3:15 na. Wala pa rin. Pero pupunta na ako sa kwarto ko to get some darkness into my eyes.

"this blog" na lang, wag na sa "blogspot"

Huwag mo nang alamin ang nakaraan ng iba. Mahihirapan ka lang tanggapin ang kababawan ng buhay mo dati.

Hindi mo talaga kilala lahat ng mga kilala mo.
Hindi mo pa talaga kaibigan lahat ng kaibigan mo.


May mga bagay na sana, hindi mo na naisip.

Para matuwa ka naman, alamin mo ang kanilang tunay na nararamdaman.
Tingnan mo ang kanilang kalagayan,
at ang kanilang nakaraan.


Ngunit lalo ka lang madedepress.












~

In Memory of

Rodolfo Celestino Nokom
1988 - 20xx

Forever Smiling, Forever Hiding.

Ashita wa Kyou to Onaji Mirai

Ashita wa Kyou to Onaji Mirai
(Tommorow Is the Same Future as Today)

Lyrics/Composition: Yamada Minoru
Performed by: Gomes the Hitman
As seen in: Otogi Zoshi: The Legend of Magatama



Mou kotae wa dokonimo nai
Arasujimo kisokumo naiyouna kono sekai de

Ashita wa kyou to onaji mirai
Ima boku ga nozomu no wa yuruginai hibi to sukoshi no kitai
Sasayaka na sukoshi no mirai

Futatsu no kage ga yurete toki wo kasane
Hokorondeyuku mayonakani

Ima wa omoitsuku kotobatachi subete wo kanata ni
Tsutaetai omoi wo kokoro kara anata ni
Boku wa tada afuredasu koe wo kagiri ni chikau

[Romaji lyrics from Animemp3s.org]

~

Answers don't exist anywhere anymore
In this world, where neither plots nor rules exist.

Tomorrow holds the same future as today.
Right now, what I hope for is a certain "now" and a little bit of expectation --
A little bit of modest future.

The two shadows waver, spend time together,
Then unravel during the night.

Right now, I'm sending all the words I can to a distant place.
With my whole voice pouring out of me, I swear,
The feelings I want to tell you are real.

Eincyclopedia / Rudictionary

Out-of-boredom post.
Hindi pala! Naghahanadang - magpakapatay - dahil - gagawin - na - yung - fil - paper - at - yung - english - para - wala - nang - problema - bukas - sa - pagpunta - sa - mcdo - kasi - hanggang - 7 - yun - at - gabi - na - ako - makakauwi - so - gagawin - na - rin - ngayon - after - fil - na - kailangan - pang - magresearch post rin pala ito.

Napakalakas ng ating kapangyarihan sa ating wika. Banban man tayo sa ibang aspeto, sadyang napaka-creative ng mga Pinoy. Nahalata mo na ba iyon?

Natural ang talento ng mga Pinoy sa paggawa ng mga sarili nilang mga salita, o 'di naman kaya'y iangkop ang mga salitang banyaga sa kanilang kagustuhan.

Naglathala ako ng iba't ibang kantology (salitang kalye) or mga expressions dito. Sariling gawa ko naman ang iba, hihi.

AGAMEMNON [exp.] ah-gah-mehm-NON
Origins: Taken from Agamemnon of the Greek Epic The Odyssey .(correct me if I'm wrong please)
Meaning/Usage:
1. ah, ganun?

ASSAMASSA [n., exp.] ASS-sa-MASS-sa
Origins: The back rows in the classroom of Ma18AB during the first sem. The words "ass," "sama," and another "ass." The last "a" was added to make it a palindrome.
Meaning/Usage:
1. someone with a big behind (ASS - a - MASS - sa)
2. even this dictionary could not provide an ample meaning.

ASSAMASSASSIN [n., exp.] ASS-sa-MASS-SASS-sin
Origins: "Seasonal" assamassa. Was created during the founders of "assamassa" was addicted to Diablo II: LOD.
Meaning/Usage:
same as assamassa

BADS / BADETS / BADETH [n.] BADS, bah-DETS, ba-DETH
Origins: The word "bading."
Meaning/Usage:
1. a homosexual.
2. [v.] to like someone of the same sex, "Nababadets ako sa kanya."

BADINGER - Z [exp.] bah - DING - ger - zee
Origins: Japanese Anime "Mazinger-Z."
Meaning/Usage:
1. baklaaa!

BORYA / DYABONG / EBS / ETCHAS /JEBS / JEBAKS / JEBAKERS / JEBIBAGS
[n.] BOR-ya, DYA-bong, EBS, ET-chass, JEBS, JEH-baks, jeh-BAH-kers, jeh-BI-bags
Origins: Gay Lingo, otherwise unknown.
Meaning/Usage:
1. human solid waste. Shet!
2. [v.] to excrete human solid wastes, or tumae, "Naboborya na ako! Bilisan mo nga umetchas dyan!"
3. [exp.] wala lang, "Ebs ka talaga forever!"

BRAVO! [person, exp.] BRAH-VOE
Origins: "Bravo!" of Prince John in the animated Robin Hood movie.
Meaning/Usage:
1. ~ehem~ Bravo!
2. sarcastic attack, "Ay nadapa ka? Bravo!"

CHIATER [n.] chi-A-ter
Origins: "Cheater" was pronounced per letter syllable possible to the human diction.
Meaning/Usage:
1. mandaraya, cheater

CHIBIUSA [adj.] chi-BYU-sa, male CHIBIUSO
Origins: Sailor Chibi Moon of Japanese Anime "Sailormoon Superstars."
Meaning/Usage:
1. chubby, a little overweight

CHIBIUSADO [adj.] chi-BYU-sah-do
Origins: Chibiusa
Meaning/Usage:
1. bullying/name-calling through the usage of chibiusa. Ie, If I called you chibiusa, then I am chibiusado.

EVIL! [adj., exp.] E-vihl!
Origins: HELL! Nyahaha
Meaning/Usage:
1. someone bad, like ~insert name here~
2. an expression supposedly to harass an evil person by pointing out his/her evilness

FLIFLAFS [n.] FLEE-flahfs
Origins: Flipflops. Duhness.
Meaning/Usage:
1. sosyal na tsinelas

FUGLY [adj.] fug-LEE
Origins: A contraction for "F_ckin Ugly"
Meaning/Usage:
1. sadyang pangit talaga, sobrang pangit, sagad sa pangit

HHWW, PSSP [adj.] H-H-W-W-P-S-S-P
Origins: Some silly abbreviation craze of the past
Meaning/Usage:
1. Holding Hands While Walking, Pa-Swing-Swing Pa

H U H U [exp] H-U-H-U
Origins: Danna Aduna. Do you know her?
Meaning/Usage:
1. the same as "huhu," but only more stupid as the syllables you say doubles.

JIAIRKULS [n.] ji-YAIR-kuls
Origins: A super contraction of "GE Air-Conditioner."
Meaning/Usage:
1. air-conditioning

JIELEKTRIKPAN [n.] ji-eh-lek-TRIK-pan
Origins: Yes, "GE Electric Fan."
Meaning/Usage:
1. electric fan

JOKLA [n., adj.] dyok-LA
see BADS / BADETS / BADETH

KARAG - KARAG [adj.] KAH-rag-KAH-rag
Origins: Karag-karag. Hindi mo alam na this word existed? OMG!
Meaning/Usage:
1. something worn down, as in "Karag-karag na sapatos ko."
2. sobrang bagal, as in slow talaga my god! "Ang karag-karag mo naman kumilos eh!"
3. baduy, cheap, "My god, he's so karag-karag to death! Hihihi!"

MAGALING MAGALING MAGALING! [exp.] ma-GAH-ling-ma-GAH-ling-ma-GAH-ling
Origins: A recent Neozep commercial (yung karag-karag na yaya and anak commercial)
Meaning/Usage:
1. like the second use of Bravo!, a sarcastic salutation: "Nakalimutan mong dalhin? Magaling magaling magaling!"

PIRACY [v.] pai-rah-SEE
Origins: Do I really need to say this?
Meaning/Usage:
1. the act of copying someone's work, not limited to CDs and other AV materials; commonly denotes copying one's assignment

PIRATA / PIRATE [n.] pih-RAH-tah, pai-RAYT
Origins: Mga mandarambong ng karagatan / Pilferers of the Seas
Meaning/Usage:
1. someone committing piracy.
2. a classmate copying your HW.

RPS DEECSYUNARI [special]
Origins: A compilation of baroqueness.
Includes: DEESC, FANKSHUN, GRAP, MINAS, PLAS, AHBER (OVER) [will create a separate post maybe]
In short, every word that comes out from someone. (someone pang/chibuso)

SAMA! [n.,exp.] sah-MA!
Uhm, the same as Evil. Tinatamad na ako eh, haha.

SAYONACHI [v., exp.] sa-yo-na-CHI
Origins: Condensed form of "Sayo na ang tsinelas ko," although should not be taken literally.
Meaning/Usage:
1. to leave, bid goodbye.
2. equivalent to "Ikaw na ang bahala sa atin."

SHET / SYET / SHETAS [n., exp] SHET, si-YET, SHEH-tas
Origins: English slang "Shit." Another duh for you!
Meaning/Usage:
1. human solid waste (although it is uncommon to be used this way)
2. again, wala lang.
3. the ultimate general form of emotion

SHETASSAMASSA [exp.] sheh-tass-sa-mass-SA
Origins: A combination of "Shet" and "Assamassa." Very creative.
Meaning/Usage:
1. and yet AGAIN! wala lang.

SWANGIT [adj.] swa-NGIT
Origins: Super + Pangit. Boy these "Origins" are getting shorter and shorter.
Meaning/Usage:
1. sobrang pangit, as in yung nagsabog si god ng kagandahan eh nasa likod siya ng crowd, at nakafull rain gear pa!
("not an inch of beauty in the body" is better I think..)

TUS [v., exp.] TUS
Origins: Ewan ko. Eto hindi ko talaga alam. Narinig ko lang sa class ko dati sa HS.
Meaning/Usage:
1. to stop
2. to disperse the crowd when the teacher is coming
3. equivalent to "Andiyan na teacher!"

UBER [adj.] OOH-BER
Origins: A bastardization of the word "over."
Meaning/Usage:
1. to exceed expectations, "Uber naman yan si ~ehem~"
2. paano mo ba ginagamit ang over? Hay nako uber ka ha!

ZOOM! [v.] ZOOHM
Origins: Zoom, the onomatopoeia of something rushing really fast
Meaning/Usage:
1. the act of hurrying to your class because you woke up 30 minutes late of your leaving time
"Shet! 7:00 na?! Zoom na 'to!"

So ayan. imbis na nagtype ako ng Fil, ito ginawa ko. Haha!
Sana naman ay may napulot kayong something hindi karag-karag but rather uberly useful.

Sayonatchi!

My ------------------------------------------------ Family

Before anything else, I dedicate this post to my Papa Miko, Mama Jelain, Ahia Ace, Sioti John, Siobe Honey, Siobe Kary, Auntie Joahnna, adpotive Daddy Joseph, stepsister Danna, Nelvin, his parents, Tita Nene, and Yaya, Ej, his mom, and Nicole, Sherlyn and her hair, Thomas and his brother, and everyone else along the line.

But not to my mom, dad, and siblings.



Ayon sa Dictionary.com:

fam·i·ly ˈfæməli, ˈfæmli/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[fam-uh-lee, fam-lee] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, plural -lies, adjective –noun

1.	parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not.

2.	the children of one person or one couple collectively: We want a large family.

3.	the spouse and children of one person: We're taking the family on vacation next week.

4.	any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins: to marry into a socially prominent family.

5.	all those persons considered as descendants of a common progenitor.

6.	Chiefly British. approved lineage, esp. noble, titled, famous, or wealthy ancestry: young men of family.

7.	a group of persons who form a household under one head, including parents, children, and servants.

8.	the staff, or body of assistants, of an official: the office family.

9.	a group of related things or people: the family of romantic poets; the halogen family of elements.

10.	a group of people who are generally not blood relations but who share common attitudes, interests, or goals and, frequently, live together: Many hippie communes of the sixties regarded themselves as families.

11.	a group of products or product models made by the same manufacturer or producer.

12.	Biology. the usual major subdivision of an order or suborder in the classification of plants, animals, fungi, etc., usually consisting of several genera.

13.	Slang. a unit of the Mafia or Cosa Nostra operating in one area under a local leader.

14.	Linguistics. the largest category into which languages related by common origin can be classified with certainty: Indo-European, Sino-Tibetan, and Austronesian are the most widely spoken families of languages. Compare stock (def. 12), subfamily (def. 2).

15.	Mathematics. a. a given class of solutions of the same basic equation, differing from one another only by the different values assigned to the constants in the equation. b. a class of functions or the like defined by an expression containing a parameter. c. a set.

–adjective

16.	of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a family: a family trait.

17.	belonging to or used by a family: a family automobile; a family room.

18.	suitable or appropriate for adults and children: a family amusement park.

19.	not containing obscene language: a family newspaper.

—Idiom

20.	in a or the family way, pregnant.

[family, from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/family; online; Accessed 8 March 2007.]

Pero hindi dito nakalagay ang pinakaimportanteng definition ng family para sa akin:

A family is where the heart belongs to. It is where the heart grows, gains experience, and heals. It is a place of security and happiness.

May pamilya tayong lahat.

Naiintindihan nila tayo.
Mahal nila tayo.
Hinding hindi tayo pababayaan ng ating mga pamilya.

Oo nga. May mga pamilya kasing hindi close sa isa't isa.
May mga magulang kasing hindi maintindihan ang mga anak.
May mga magulang kasing ayaw intindihin ang mga damdamin ng mga anak.

Pasalamat na lang ako at hindi ganito ang aking pamilya.

Kaya nga ako nagpapasalamat sa aking Papa, Mama, kina ahia at sioti, kina siobe, sa aking stepfamily, sa aking mga greatest friends and their relatives, and the rest along the line.

~

...

"Sa Fort na ba kayo sa Monday?"

"Oo.."

"Eh pano yun? May shuttle ba?"

"Wala, kanya-kanya."

"Tinuruan ba kayong pumunta dun?" Oo daw. "So papaano?"

Instructions kung paano pumunta sa bagong office ni kuya, may tono ng pagkainis. "Masakit sa dila magsalita."

"Eh bakit ba ang sungit sungit mo?! Aba, anak ng pating! Kung ayaw mong kinakausap ka at pinakikialaman, eh 'di magsolo ka! Pero hanggang nasa puder ka namin ng daddy mo, magtiis ka! Bakit mo sa akin binubuhos yang kamalasan mo?! Wala naman akong kinalaman diyan ha! Hangga't andito ka, sumunod ka sa mga batas namin! Aba Bong, ilagay mo nga ang sarili mo sa lugar! Akala mo kung sino ka na diyan porke't nagtratrabaho ka na! Hindi ka na nga pinagagawa dito sa bahay tapos ganyan ka pa!"

...

Marami pang kasunod yan. Ayoko nang ituloy kasi baka sabihing sinisiraan ko na sila.

Nadukutan kasi ng telepono si kuya. Nakikinig siya ng mp3 sa kanyang telepono habang pababa na siya ng bus. Tumigil daw yung music, akala niya naghang lang or namatay na yung phone niyang lobat na. Yun pala, nadukutan na siya. Kasalanan niya kasi naka mp3 siya in public, na alam nating hindi safe especially sa isang bus na siksikan at full of suspicious people. Masakit din ata ang ipin niya.

Hay yay yay. This time I really felt sorry for him.

SOMEONE DID NOT UNDERSTAND SOMEONE'S FEELINGS. SOMEONE ALWAYS DO NOT FULLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THE OTHER IS GOING THROUGH. SOMEONE JUST NEVER UNDERSTANDS WHY.

I am so lucky to have my Papa, Mama, ahia, sioti, mga siobe...

Guys, salamat talaga kasi you really make me feel happy. You fill in what's missing in my life.

Love you all at sana all of you loves me too.

Assassin Cross part 4

Siguro nagsasawa na kayo sa Assassin Cross no?

Well ako, hindi pa.

Kanina, naging Assassin ako. I was present, but remained unnoticed.

Nagsimula lahat yun kagabi.

[ SUMMARY of EVENTS]
Nagalit si ma dahil late na, hindi pa ako tulog.
"Buti sana kung nag-aaral ka eh!"
Nag-aral naman na ako eh. Hindi na lang niya nakita.
"Ako hindi makatulog! Eh kayo, kahit anong oras niyo gusuthing matulog, pwede!"
I go to bed at 12 mn, I fall asleep at around 3 am, fyi.
Being a good anak, sumunod na lang ako at kinimkim ang feelings.*
Lagi namang ganun eh.

*At dahil dito, nalearn ko ang quest skill na "Induce Sleep"
Ano ang effect?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Induce Sleep QUEST SKILL
LV 1 ACTIVE
Target: self
SP cost: varies
Duration: varies

Induce the "Sleep" status on self by crying. "Drowsiness" effect lingers as target wakes up, which remains indefinitely. Target under Drowsiness status has impaired STR, AGI, DEX, INT, and emotional capabilities, but has improved LUK and social VIT.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So ayun. I decided not to use the PC (pero I still did dahil sa Fil12 HW. Labs ko naman si Sir Yols eh) for the whole day. Nung dumating ako, I used Lv. 10 Cloaking para hindi madetect ni mamie na natutulog sa sofa sa sala. Tapos nung nakalayo, gumamit ng Lv. 10 Hiding sa room ko which lasted for an amazing 5 hours.

Result?

Akala ni mamie wala pa ako. Nalaman lang niyang nasa bahay na pala ako nung lumabas ako to get something.

Sa wakas, naging Assassin ako kahit papaano.
And it felt real nice.

It felt real nice in my own dark world of solitude which lasted for 5 hours.

Oh yeah, Lv 92 na si Serea. At makakagawa na ako ng Clip of Counter, which will boost my critical rate to 34%, dahil sa efforts na tulungan ako nina Conditional at Duh...

At ngayon, alam ko na kung bakit gusto ko talagang maging Assassin.
Dahil sa Detoxify.

Assassin Cross part 3

Napakaraming nangyari over the past few weeks na nasira yung monitor ko at tinatamad akong galawin ang blog ko.

In relation to the Assassin posts, may nalaman akong balita na well, nakapagpasiya sa akin.

Nagpunta ulit kami kay Sir Jeff. D ako. Tinanong ko kung bakit.

"I think you missed a lab..."

Alin?

"The very first one I think."

Pero hindi ako absent nun. Late lang ako at kagrupo ko pa si Wil and the Celendro guy nun.

"Are ya sure?"

Syempre.

So ayun, naging 18 ang 0 ko. Naging 82 ako bigla from a 64. You do the math.
The D became a B.

Oh goodie.

Kasi may AncientRO na. Lv 89 na si Serea (a name which means "Shine" in elven). Oo, malapit na rin ako maging Assassin Cross sa wakas. And I just landed 20 critical hits in rapid succession with my +8 Critical Double Boned Jur.


*sigh*
You have to cheat something (legalize something which is really illegal) in order to enjoy it.

*sigh*
You have to cheat life in order to enjoy it.

*sigh*
You have to cheat yourself in order to enjoy life.

*sigh~*

// Aside para hindi masira ang mood ko. Dumating kuya ko. Guess what he just did?

Oh goodie.

So ayun, bale wala pala lahat nung mga moments na kinucurse ko ang buhay ko. B pala ako eh. At oo, grade conscious ako. Masama ba maging grade conscious?

*stare*
inferior.
*gaze*
Inferior.
*well up*
INferior.
*tremble*
INFErior
*close eyes*
INFERIOR!
*drop*

At walang nangyari. Ganun ka pa rin after.

This only reiterates how unexpected life could be.
It also shows how miserable life could be.

And another thing:
Problems are never given a solution. They are just forgotten.

Kawawa ka kung wala kang amnesia.

Hindi ako sore or punyetanized or shitty or [insert some f*ckin' word here] about life and everything like that, naasar lang ako kasi nagkaroon ng extra pressure on my part na sobrang nakakabaliw at nakakastress.

Let me close with my latest creation, The Tinapay Ode:

TINAPAY ODE

Hay.

Buhay.
Parang,
Tinapay.

Lit sucks. Yun yun eh.

pakialamerx, pakialamerx, usiserx, usiserx ; x = o, a

Puno ng mga ganitong mga "bagay" ang bahay ko.

Ewan ko lang. They don't mind their business at all. They snoot under your nose when you use the goddam computer that is shared, even if you don't snoot under their nose when they use the goddam computer that they are so adept destroying.

Pero ngayon lang, nagalit si mamie kasi dalawang sweldo na raw at hindi pa nagbibigay ng perang pang-deposit sa ewan ko kung saan si kuya. Inaaksaya niya raw yung pera niya dun sa mga "toy robot" na binibili-bili niya. Pinagpapaguran niya raw yung perang yun tapos hindi ba siya nanghihinayan sa mga pinaggagastusan niya?

Hindi naman sa pagwawalang galang, pero, I think that is too far naman.

Pera niya yun eh. And I found those Gundam Robots neat. Hindi kasi yun maiintindihan ni mamie eh. Yung mga ganung bagay. Kasi nga, siya palagi ang tama miski mali na talaga.

O yeah, hindi ako sumabat. Mahirap na eh. Alam mo naman sa bahay nila, bawal ang mga ganung bagay.

And that is one of the few instances na pumanig ako sa kuya ko. Karaniwan kasi, wala.

Observer lang ako.
Ganun eh.

At dahil sa mga pangyayaring ganito na paulit-ulit na lang, takot na ako magkapamilya.

One of these days, I might turn bi. Hey, being bi is nice! You could love anyone!

Not just yourself.