Hiding in the darkness...

Yes this post is forced.
I really don't know why I am doing such a thing.
Maybe I am confused and is willing to give up
Or maybe I would want to forget everything.

Sometimes, life can be so sad
Everything seems so wrong and bad.
You wake up each morning with a heavy heart
You live your monotonous day
As time eats your soul away...

You always prepare
But is seems you're always in despair...
You confront life with a blank stare
Not knowing what to do
Or who to come to
Everything seems so wrong and bad,
So life can be sometimes sad...

And at the end of each day,
You kneel down and pray.
But you wonder if there is really much sense
In that gesture you are in...
You feel the usual tense
That you are thinking about these things a little too hard...

Life is unfair as you know it.
But what am I supposed to do?
You always get confused along the way
You live your monotonous day
As time eats your soul away...

And you wonder about your friends
But insecurites set in and bite...
"deserving of a person sustaining might?"
You really wonder about everything...
Wonder what kind of pain you will feel tomorrow..
And wonder until when you will be able to keep it all in...
And you tell yourself your worthlessness
That time is all but in vain in your presence...
You live your monotonous day
As time slowly eats you away
And slowly decays your essence...

But you tell yourself to fight the feelings to change
And in return, you gain some sight.
Sight that was darkened by the delusion
Of a very unreal emancipation which really gave you everything you wanted...
You look at your back and see the happiness the delusion gave you
All the people in their glee.
Fireworks soar to the sky
People rejoice and celebrate you new life.
But deep inside, you tell yourself and try to look happy because you aren't
Not to cry.
You don't know why
The reason of those tears.
But you look ahead and defeat your fears.

Yes, life can be so sad, and it can be forever sad..
And everything seems so wrong and bad.
You may wake up each morning with a heavy heart, a destroyed soul, and a weakened hope
And you live your monotonous day,
But keep in mind: Life cheats everything away..

Time can eat your soul away,
But it also finds it your way.

You just have to wait and see what will transpire
In different souls that will eventually expire...

And still, at the end of the day,
Time eats your pitiful soul away...

Thank [insert name here] for the lupa and everything!

So ginusto mong magka-experience na pasasalamatan mo na may solid ground. And then, naiinggit ka sa mga ice skaters.

Nagkayayaan kayo ng friendships niyo to go to Megamall and skate on ice. What the heck! Humans aren't made to gracefully glide on ice! *grumble grumble* And in the end, nag-enjoy ka naman. Sheesheesh!


To make your arctic adventure pleasing and *painless*, feel free to read these listings. And yes, these data were gathered by experience.



1. Before anything else, may pera ka ba? Baka mamaya wala! Ice skating is for rich people naman kasi eh! [pats self on head] Like duhness walang snow sa Pilipinas, eh kung wala kang dough, where will you skate? Sa isang basong yelo? At dahil dyan, kailangan mo magpunta sa Megamall or sa MoA to skate. Kung may coupons ka, the prices are P60/hr and P100/hr respectively. Ewan ko lang kung bakit kami bingyan ng coupons (baka kasi marami kami).. Kung hindi kayo binigyan ng coupons, be ready to shell out something like P250, pero unlimited na. Aanuhin mo naman ang unlimited ice skating time? Magpapalamig para masarap ang hot coffee or hot sopas pag-uwi mo? Kung ganun, weirdo ka, or maybe just plain rich.


2. If you do not have any experience to any kind of skating, well, get ready to be hurt. Kung ayaw mong mahurt at noob ka, uminom ka ng tatlong bote ng painkillers or magpakahigh ka or something. Expect to do some suislides, man. It is a part of skating life. Pwede ka ring magsuot ng armor, tapos mag-try outs ka na rin para sa hockey team. Naka-armor ka na eh malay mo pumasa ka as the goal (not goalie). That is sure gratifying, eh?


3. The railings are your best friend. Kung hindi ka pa magaling, dun ka lang muna. Pero be sure to venture out sa ice or else you would never learn. Sa tingin mo paano kaya gumaling yung mga skaters? Like duh, meron silang mobile railings.


4. If you commit suislide, tip ko lang kapag tatayo ka na ay KEEP YOUR HANDS AND FINGERS CLOSE TO YOUR BODY! I cannot stress this enough. Malay mo biglang may dumaan.. and.. and.. free vienna sausages! O baka naman mamaya pumapalakpak ka na when you are fanning yourself with your hands.. (demo please)


5. A oo nga pala, when you think you will commit suislide, bend your knees. Bending your knees would make your wipeout graceful and flawless like a ballerina. But it is STILL a wipeout, so too bad. Ballerina ballerina ka pa dyan loko!


6. Keep track of time. Kasi napagaling ng policy dun eh. Kapag sumobra ka ng 5 minutes, it would be considered as an hour. So kapag hinarangan ka nung lady with the calculator sa exit, ipaglaban mo ang excuse na "Eh kasi marami kami and we had to remove our skates and everything..." Hey, that worked! Well kung mag-isa ka lang, uhm.. sabihin mo nagka-emergency ka. Urgent business. Sa banyo lang nga..


7. Beware of beyblades. Baka kasi ma-shred ka to smithereens or baka magsuka sila sa kakaikot. Malas mo kung napabilis ka ng andar tapos hindi ka marunong mag-turn or mag-break tapos head-on collision ka pa sa isang beyblade.. Hala! Anong gagawin mo?! E di umikut-ikot rin para beybalde ka na rin! Hindi ka marunong nun? Well too bad. Face your fate, ikaw ay maga-grate.


8. Para mas enjoy, take advanced diving lessons with someone. Hmm, I wonder who that person is?


9. Nga pala, magdala ng extra shirt. Medyo pagpapawisan ka rin eh. Paano ko nalaman? There was a guy with wet underarms. Paano kaya yun nabasa? Ano ba, e di he fell armpits first sa ice! DUH!


10. Magdala ka na rin ng nametag with "I am a noob, stay away!" written in it. Mahirap kasi eh. A rink with lots of noobs in it is collision-prone. As in SOBRA. Or hintayin mong magka-clearing sa rink bago ka magpunta sa gitna or go across. Kung gusto mo lalayuan ka talaga, magsuot ka ng "Mabaho ako!" O di ba? Wala talagang lalapit sayo! Galing talaga ng mga ideas ko!

11. After skating, huwag kalimutan sabihin ang "Thank [insert name here] for the lupa and everything!"

O yan, all set ka na!
Go na! As in, now na!

Ironies

I have been thinking about things recently..
And there are a few things that I found to be, sadly, true.


THE ONLY PERMANENT THING IS CHANGE.

This is very true. Everything has its beginning and its end. It has to end. It just needs to. The cycle of life depends on all of these beginnings and ends, and there are very little things we can do about it. Maybe even none. Change is the only permanent thing because as long as there is something existing, change will always be there to well, change it. When something is alive, change takes place as the darkness of death. If something is new, time withers its beauty until it grows old. Then it dies. Change is the most powerful being in this entire living plane, so my advice is to befriend it. Or well, be used to it, unlike me. The only thing we can do to help ourselves is be happy all of the time.

Well maybe most of the time.

Maybe even be happy sometimes is enough.
Because being happy WILL break you afterwards.



HAPPINESS IS A DELUSION OF YOURSELF.

How can you be happy if you know that you won't be in the future? Happiness is just a drug to go to a nice world full of fake realities. Upon entering the state of happiness, you are blinding yourself from the truth of this harsh society. Happiness may be the saddest thing in the whole colorful world of emotions. How come? Being happy is a very selfish act. I mean, how can someone be happy if the people around him/her isn't? In my experience, happiness cannot be created. In order to feel happy, you must make someone sad. See how wrong happiness is?
When you are happy, you are an agent of the vicious cycle of happiness. And sometimes, a defeat hurts more after a period of extreme happiness. It really, really does.

Being happy forever isn't possible.

Being content is enough.
But being content is like being happy.

But keep it to yourself.
This way the cycle loses a catalyst.



EMOTIONS ARE THE REASON WHY WE SUFFER.

If there are no emotions, each and every one of us would be equal. Hey, being in the upper hand of things, why would you want to be equal? What if you were the one in the lower hand? What I mean is, without emotions, no one would feel sad, but at the expense of happiness and every other emotion. Life would be monotonous, but without emotions, would we know what is monotonous? Think about it. Pain and suffering isn't the punishment for our sins, but emotion is. Actually, even before we sinned, we are already punished by our emotions. Maybe God knew we are prone to sin so he punished us immediately the day we were born.

They say being human is being able to have emotions.
So, being human is suffering?

I guess so.




But nonetheless, I am not ready to go emotionless. I am not fond of change.
Even though life is hell itself sometimes, I don't want to lose this world.

Why?

I really don't know why.

We won't meet here...

He died on December 7, 2006, at around 7:34 am during his Filipino class. The cause of death is still unknown, but they have a feeling that he died because of severe emotional trauma resulting to a massive breakdown of the emotional center and the evaporation of the soul.

They named this pitiful condition the MDIRF disease, probably more known as
"My day is ruined forever."

Miraculously, after dying for the third time, the victim is still alive. He explains that the soul dies, but the body is unaffected. After a few moments, hours, days, or even months, the lingering soul returns to the body with a very small part of it gone forever. And this small part would haunt him for a very long time.

But all that he could do was say "My day is ruined forever."

So we asked him what happened after he died. He tells us that he struggled to put up his usual mood in order for other people not to notice his quick, abrupt, and painful demise. He engaged in coversations to make his brain not idle, but deep down inside him, he was reenacting the horrible situation where he died. He was quite successful in putting up in his scheme of hiding, and was able to survive the long test in math even with all the crushing attacks of his memory that he thought was his ally.

He started to hate himself.
He told himself when he died the second time that when he dies again, it was for real.
But no. It was another death of his poor and twisted emotions.

All he could say after all of this was:
"I am so sorry that I helped. And now, I hate myself in helping you. I am so sorry."




"If you wish to eliminate the person tormenting you, you would just pull this red string. Upon doing so, you enter into an official contract with me. The person tormenting you would be sent immediately to hell. But when a person is cursed, two graves are dug. When your body dies, your soul goes to hell, forever wandering and never knowing what paradise is like...

And now, you decide what happens next. "



He pulls the string.



"Your pitiful shadow is cloaked in darkness.."
I know that.

"Your actions cause people great pain and suffering..."
I am the one suffering...

"I shall show you... what death is like.."
Finally...





"I'm taking you...
we're going...

to hell."
Sometimes, life is hell itself...

ruderiddle #2

Ayannnn na!
Dahil kay master Thomas,
CONNECTED NA ANG RR1 sa RR2!
NYAHAHAHAH!



PART 2: Is something wrong?

Gnv knmf hr hs?




PART 2: I love Midori no Hibi!

Who:
- is NOT ( I say again, NOT) avid of the very bad and immoral hentai of the generation of today?
- followed Midori no Hibi until end, and yet, was unfortunate to miss the first episode?
- just loves the song "Tentai Kansoku" [Star Searching] performed by the band Bump of Chicken?
I am!





PART 3: !sdrawkcaB

nawS gnitnuH :smailliW annA
sserd ymra teloiv :smailliW aniN
!tuokconK : xoF evetS
oasreveR :orietnoM eitsirhC
obmoC kciK dnalraG :iliL
?yug ymrA :vonugarD
!nowg eciN :akusA
!amuK :adnaP
!adnaP :amuK
?lleh eht ohW :nijukoM
trepxe nowK eaT :keaB
elyts neknurD :gnoL uW ieL
!ekanS diloS :yruF nayrB
[not a clue: Bryan Fury = Yanyan! :D]





PART 4: [can't think of a title for this]

a s f r g h f t g j p d f r t g b
s a d c v f r t e v v v e r t r e
s d e v v f u i v d g j v r y u i
r t v d v f u t v f h j v d f h y
s d f r v g j t v f g h v b b g g
d d d f v g h j k v v v v h j k l
s d f f v f f d f g f g v f g h j
s d f d v g f g h j k g v h f r h
a d d d v g f f v h g g v j g d f
a f v v v v v r f v v v d g h d s
a s d f g h f g g g g h h y r e e





PART 5: The Ein in einzweihander

- Grand Sting
- Slashing Sword "Farewell"
- Glance Reviver
- Valkyrie Favor
- Bahamut Tear
- Zweihander
- Demon Sword "Levantine"
- Crest Estoc
- Ether Freeze
- Dragonbane
- Jewelled Blade "Grimrist"
- Dragon Slayer
- Shiny Rupture
- Doublecross
- Fire Blade "Cromrea"
- Icicle Sword
- Ama-no Murakamo Blade
- Dainslef
- Gram


Which one would you equip?
Rather, which one SHOULD you equip?


Ding is ready for battle!

Selfish

Sige.

Aaminin ko na.

l am very selfish.



Kasi nga,



l want myself back.
l want everything back to where it started.

l want everything back to normal.

l want to forget everything that happened.

l want to be free from this corrupted world.

l want to be normal again.

l miss the good old days.



l honestly feel that l am tired of giving up time for others.


l wish l can find myself a small wrinkle in time to see all of it again.





And l honestly feel,
that even if l say all of this..

l am not selfish.
This is all but just a deep, dark delusion of myself.
l want all of this, but l am willing to give all of it
again



and again..



and again...







l never said "l" here.
Why?


They are all L's.
See?

l am not selfish.

Please see that.