Mga Tanong na Paulit-ulit na Tinatanong ng Isang Mag-aaral

Hindi ko talaga gets ang mga inaral ko dito sa Ateneo. Sayang sa units!

Alam mo yun? Kasi ang dami-daming required subjects dito sa school na hindi ko alam kung paano ko i-aapply bilang isang Computer Science undergraduate. Hindi ko rin alam kung papaano ko ito magagamit bilang isang degree holder ng nasabing kurso (sana, by next year po). Alam mo yun? Anong gagawin ko sa labindalawang units sa kung anu-anong klase sa theology? Hindi ko naman sinasabing buwagin na sa core curriculum ang theology, pero kailangan ba talagang apat na subject ang required? Dahil ba isang Jesuit institution ang Ateneo kaya kailangan dumadagundong na labindalawang units ang kailangan para magtapos sa kahit na anong kurso? Pati na rin ang philosophy. Kailangan rin bang lumalagitik na labindalawang units rin ang kailangan? Gusto ko naman ang philosophy, yun nga lang, parang paulit-ulit ata ang mga inaaral. At ang mahirap pa, kahit na anong pagsusunog ng kilay o pamimiga ng utak ang gawin mo sa pag-aaral, C lang ang makukuha mo sa orals. O baka naman hindi lang talaga ako magaling magtawid ng aking mga saloobin kaya ganun? Ang bitter. Ang bitter talaga. Ayos lang sa akin kung ipapatapon niyo ako sa isang far, far away place, o kaya nama'y ipababaril sa isang firing squad sa kung saang lupalop ng Quezon City.

Wala lang. Wala lang yata ako mapost kaya ganito. Nakakainis lang pati ang mga professor na aalis ng bansa at iiwan kayo ng dalawang linggo. Pero hindi ako galit, naiinis lang. Tumatambak na rin kasi ang mga kailangan kong gawin, at nagpapalala pa sa lahat ng ito ang thesis.

Hay, thesis. Sino bang nakaimbento sa iyo?

Busy Again

Things are getting tougher. Deadlines are getting nearer and nearer. People are getting busier and busier

including me.


Sigh.

How I miss my life free from responsibilities.
How I miss substantial blogging.
How I miss someone.

Busy

One thing I can say: being a senior isn't easy.

I have a lot of things to do. That's all I've been saying for the past two weeks. It's hard to balance academics from org life.

I need to compromise things, and unfortunately, my blog is one of those unlucky little parts of my life which I need to set aside in order to make my dreams of a nice future come to fruition, one small step at a time. Each and every day seems like a whole week. Two weeks have passed, but it feels that a whole semester just elapsed. I lose track of the ideas that come to my mind because I'm too occupied to even just think of something to write. I don't know. Right now, I'm living off the nice feeling whenever you cross out something out of your epic to-do list.

Sigh. Last two semesters to go.

I feel sad that the end is already so visible, but I'm happy because I made friendships that I know will last seven lifetimes.

Tired, so tired. But I'm happy with what I have.

Victory

JAI HO

Kapuso (Part III? Not Really)

My day became boggled when I learned that I needed to call KFC and Mister Donut Philippines to confirm my interest in continuing my application for internship in their comapany. I did not sleep during the night -- my plan was to call as soon as they were available, 9:00am, set my appointment later that day, then go to sleep and wake up a two hours before my scheduled exam and interview. I groggily dialed their number, and after a few rings, a man answered the phone. A series of questions and answers followed, and after a few redirections of the line, I was left with the hassled feeling of the need to come in business attire and the need to aquire Ma'am Jess' signatures for the documents the company was requesting from me. Half past ten, I suddenly became even more pressured as Ma'am Jess announced that the department was only open up until noon. I rushed to print my resume, endorsement, and recommendation. Time was running short, too short that if I failed to arrive at Katipunan at twelve, not only would I fail to get the signatures, but I will probably bomb my chances of entering the company as I will be coming there with incomplete documents. After barely being touched by my soap in a very crude bath, I searched for my slacks, only to find its pockets still stitched after working in Robinsons Supermarket Marikina as a bagger. Getting a sharp object lying in my parent's bedroom, I passed it through the thread that bound the pockets and set them free again to hold my phone, wallet, handkerchief, and rosary. After getting dressed, I fumbled in opening the box of my leather shoes, the same shoes that I wore the previous day. As I wore the shoes, I remembered how cumbersome my feet felt. But the man said to come in business attire, so I didn't have any other choice.

Good thing Mamie was supportive enough that she all the way to Leong Hall, a few meters away where Ma'am Jess was waiting. And the heat started to make my back trickle with beads of sweat as soon as I left the cold air-conditioning provided by our car.

Putang ina naman ang init na 'to. 'Tang ina talaga.

Half past eleven, I was done with my documents. But my schedule was not until three in the afternoon. I went to Gateway and decided to kill time there by spending what was left of my load in Timezone. It was weird to see myself go there and play the games I usually play dressed in my favorite (but I'm not saying I wear this often, it's just that its the best looking one I have) striped long-sleeved polo, black slacks, and leather shoes. I sensed a hidden curiosity in them on why I was dressed like that. I could tell by the way they looked at me the first time they saw me wearing get-up. I can't blame them since not many people come there in sleeves and slacks, let alone someone they are used to seeing wearing just casual clothes and sneakers or canvases. Time moved on quickly, and soon, I was eating a hurried fifty-peso lunch in McDonalds Panay Avenue. It was almost two in the afternoon, and I had to leave as soon as possible since I still had to navigate along uncharted roads in seach for the place of my exam. I tried to fix my appearance and look fresh, but I can't say I managed to do so. The intense heat that bore on me as I travelled has worn me out. Good thing there were cabs waiting outside, and the one I hopped into knew where RAMCOR Building along Roces Avenue was.

The driver had such a pleasing personality. We clicked instantly as soon as he said he knew the place. Each one of us threw half-jokes and kept each other entertained, in some way or the other. He was worried that he might not make the boundary since there wasn't much people on the streets, and I was worried on what was to take place and what I involved myself to.

I arrived at the place half past two. Sir Carl approached me a few minutes after I arrived and said that I was early, and that we had to wait for the other applicant to arrive. The other applicant, a girl whose first impression on me was she was a rich kid, arrived quarter to three. There was a clear separation of people in that hall: the ones dressed in business attire, and the ones who were dressed casually. I don't want to jump into conclusions, but I did not like that division at all.

Nothing happened even an hour after I arrived. My lack of sleep heavily invited my eyes to close and sleep, but before I fell to sleep, Sir Carl gathered the two of us into a room at the end of the reception hall. Inside, we were asked to fill up forms, and it was there that I learned that the other applicant, Geoanna, was also an Atenean. But Sir Carl gave me no time to chat with Geoanna as he administered the test right away. It was difficult, especially the Verbal part.

After squeezing my brains out for over an hour, I was able to chat with Geoanna. I initiated a small talk about her also hailing from Ateneo, which in turn became a long conversation about how difficult it was for us to find a job, when our own friends had their respective job sites already. I forgot how sleepy I was until she was called to another room where Sir Jim was to interview her.

As I sat in the now empty reception hall, I stared to feel anxious. I didn't know what I would tell the good-looking man with a nice smile. I didn't know if I should brag about my achievements or if I would remain true to my humility of heart. Unable to anticipate what his questions were, I started to feel afraid. It was during that moment that a Kuya mopped the floor. Employees did not take notice of what he was doing, and left the mopped tiles printed with dirt again. Kuya, with patience, mopped the floor clean anew. Seeing his tired arms, shoulders, and eyes, I lifted my feet up and stepped on the dark tiles of the floor's simple design.

Kuya, nadudumihan, eh.

Ayos lang yan!

As I looked on my leather shoes, I remembered how uncomfortable it was wearing that pair of shoes. However, during that moment, I felt different. My feet felt light that I was able to move them so that a persevering man's efforts wouldn't be wasted. Fourteen past six, Geoanna came out of the room, which unveiled my moment of truth. Like a thunderbolt in a cloudy but silent night sky, the tall man's voice tore the silence that embraced and protected me. My feet, lifting my small frame, slowly led me inside the room where my prior anxieties would be realized or dispelled.

Kapuso (Part II)

I approached the security guard and told him that I had an appointment with Miss Ali Dedicatoria on the seventh floor. He was unsure whether Miss Ali was already upstairs, so he asked for identification and dialed the local of the seventh floor. As soon as he read my last name, he asked whether Miss Ali and I are related in any way.

Ah, pinsan ko po.

Pareho kasi kayong Nokom, eh.

He told me that she was still not in her office, and asked me to wait in the waiting lounge. I entered the small, air-conditioned room that was almost full of people from different walks of life. The television tuned into channel seven (of course) distracted them from looking at each other, questioning themselves the different reasons why the people waiting in there met in that small, cramped, window-lit room. My eyes tried to wander around and look at the people around me, but the discomfort my feet which have only worn sneakers for the past three years felt in wearing leather shoes stopped me from my attempts. I ended up watching Gelli, Janice, and Carmina cook different sorts of food for almost twenty minutes. But from time to time, people who looked like social workers came in and questioned people sitting beside me and behind me. As it turns out, those people where there because of their lost children, siblings, or relatives. They brought along pictures of their missing loved ones, and all the poeple attending to them could do was to tell them they would do their best to air their grief. What relief would that do, I thought.

I went outside and asked Kuya if Miss Ali is already upstairs. After a few minutes, he gave me a visitor's ID and directed me to the building where all the important people of the Kapuso network is. After almost getting lost several times, I managed to arrive at the lobby and press the call button of the three elevators. An elevator soon opened, and after the surge of people rushing out, I stepped in, along with several other people.

As the elevator paneled with three mirrors hummed and climbed its vertical corridor, I thought how fast life is. As I looked at the man in the mirror staring directly at me, I realized that I'm no longer a kid. In less than a year or so, I will be the ones walking all over the metro for a well-paying job, or at least a job one likes to have. Well, my search for a company for internship is not different, I guess.

As the elevator produced its familiar ding-dong on the seventh floor, I prepared myself for what was to come. As the doors slid open, I was fascinated by what greeted me: there inside glass cabinets were the armors of Danaya, Alena, Pirena, and Amihan; the four Sang'gres of Encantadia, a show which I avidly watched during the time it was aired in the station. That made me build my courage and as I turned and entered the entertainment division, I saw Miss Ali and addressed her that way, even if we were cousins.

I brought my documents, but apparently, they needed the letters from the school. She directed me to Miss Princess, who would forward my application directly to the HR department. Before I left the floor, Miss Ali wrote her number in a small pink piece of Post-it, and handed it to me as she said to update her on my progress. I thanked her plenty, and without further delay, headed to Ateneo and acquired Sir Agloro's signatures for both Endorsement and Recommendation letters. Rushing back to the GMA Complex, I handed over my complete documents to Miss Princess and texted Miss Ali about it.

"Ok, tnx!: )"

For some reason, my size thirteen feet kept bugging me. It kept irritating me that I missed the chance to casually talk to people sitting next beside me. Everyone knows the feeling of everyone looking at you when you enter a room, but not everyone knows the weird atmosphere of people still looking at you fifteen minutes after you have entered the same room.

Kapuso (Part I)

I am writing this in the morning of the day I am to meet with Ali Marie N. Dedicatoria, Executive Producer of GMA 7. I will be meeting her later at 11:00am in the Entertainment Division, 7/F GMA Building, Edsa corner Timog Avenue, Diliman, Quezon City. I have revised my resume and my objective now reads as follows:


Use and apply my skills in programming as an Intern to gain working experience in the field of Interactive Multimedia


which directly applies to my chosen course


Bachelor of Science in Computer Science
Specialization in Interactive Multimedia


I hate to admit it but, I am heavily banking in meeting Miss Ali for internship. I have inquired and applied for so many companies, but none of them replied.



I think the contact details in my resume are wrong? Nah.

Beginning of the End ~ Four Down One to Go

FINALS WEEK
[x] Pilosopiya ng Tao 102: Huling Pabigkas na Pagsusulit
[x] Marriage and Sexuality - Theology 131 Finals
[x] Operating Systems - CS162 Final Moodle Exam
[x] Object-oriented Programming - CS124 Finals
[ ] Object-oriented Programming - CS124 Hibernate Project

[ ] FIND A JOB

----

I can feel it. But I must fight it.

The unbearable wait for freedom is excruciatingly sweet, however I must hold on until that time of delayed gratification comes.

Life is sometimes all about that.

Beginning of the End ~ Two Down Three to Go

FINALS WEEK
[x] Pilosopiya ng Tao 102: Huling Pabigkas na Pagsusulit
[x] Marriage and Sexuality - Theology 131 Finals
[ ] Operating Systems - CS162 Final Moodle Exam
[ ] Object-oriented Programming - CS124 Finals
[ ] Object-oriented Programming - CS124 Hibernate Project

[ ] FIND A JOB

----

Finally, I see the light at the end of this very, very long tunnel. March hasn't been very cooperative to me, let alone my focus in my academics. Time and time again, I have swamped my chances of a better feeling after a long and intense period of studying. My weight twittered to a dangerous range as the lack of sleep took its toll. I felt my immune system slowly shut down due to the skipped meals which lurched my stomach. My eyes always carry a heavy load of missed hours of rest, and my mind regresses to a very slow slate, as if it is trapped in an invisible and seemingly inescapable ditch. To relieve the tensions knotting my wits, expletives fly from my mouth to the air that reeked of something within reach, but still far from one's yearning grip.

However, I am somehow keeping things together.

Endangered Specie(s?)

Hindi ko na talaga alam kung ano bang gagawin ko. Sobrang baba na ng tingin ko sa sarili ko ngayon. Well, kailan ba naging mataas ang tingin ko sa sarili ko? Nakakaiyak na talaga, pero ano naman ang magagawa ng pag-iyak ko, 'di ba? Magbabago ba ang mga pagkakamali ko kung iiyak ako ng limang banyera ng dugo? Hindi naman, 'di ba?

Susubukan ko ba? Ayaw ko nga, wala na nga akong masyadong dugo, tapos iiyak pa ako ng limang banyera. Sa tingin ko nga, mabawasan lang ako ng isang kutsaritang dugo, papasok na ako sa isang irreversible state of brain inactivity. Siguro mas mabuti na rin yun kasi mabuti pa ang gulay, masarap at masustansiya.

Kasi naman. Ngayong sem na ito, lagi na lang hindi lumalabas sa mga test na yan ang mga inaaral ko. Aaminin kong hindi todong aral ang nagagawa ko, pero naman! Bumabagsak na ako sa Th131 dahil sinusubukan kong intindihin yung mga concept, pero ang mga lumalabas sa mga test at quizzes ay yung mga taong nag-isip ng mga concept na yun. And I am a jerkfuck in remembering asshat names printed inside a textbook or located deep within paragraphs and paragraphs of scholarly readings. I just suck at things, and more often than not, the things I suck at are the ones most important.

Pero may finals pa. Pusangama naman o. Tutangina. Sabi sa syllabus essay, so I guess I have a better chance of passing that one. Nakakaiyak, pero wala e, ito na. Siguro ako rin talaga ang may mali dahil hindi ako nag-effort more miski na alam kong kailangan ko. Sobrang naging tamad na talaga ako this sem. Maraming reason, pero isa sa mga main reasons ay ang CS162 kay Doc Mana. Nakakaiyak (lagi ka namang naiiyak, what a sissy). Sobrang nakakawalang gana ang class ni Mana to the point na gusto ko nang magshift-out ng BS Computer Science papuntang AB Fine Arts. Walang relationship sa mga sinasabi ko, pero gusto ko pa rin magtrabaho sa Timezone someday. Bakit ka makikipagsapalaran sa isang na kung saan may mas magagaling sa iyo sa lahat ng aspeto? Pero who am I to tell?

Pero may chance pa naman. Pero yun din ang sinabi ko a month ago nung nakita kong medyo alanganin na ako. Hindi ako pwedeng magkaroon ng dalawang D sa card dahil kung hindi, mawawalan (na naman) ako ng scholarship at sigurado akong mahirap na itong i-appeal ngayong incoming senior na ako. May chance pa naman, dahil sabi sa akin ni Kara, nagsuot lang raw siya ng tube dress sa finals ng CS162, at B ang nakuha niyang grade. Mabait naman si Kara at papahiramin niya raw sa akin yung tube top niya at ultra-short kepkep shorts. Ayos.

Hay. At kakasabi ko pa naman kay Jay kahapon na graduating na ako next year sa awa ng Diyos.

Kailangan ko lang ulit maniwala sa sarili ko. Kailangan.



O 'di ba. After a long time of inactivity, rant pa ang post ko.

Long Test Bukas, Yay

Pablo Manalastas
Final Exam fo Seniors / Long Test for Others
Wed, 2/25/09 10:50AM

===

Tomorrow's final exam for seniors is also a long test for other students in CS162.

Seniors have the option of taking either 12:00 Noon- 1:30 PM or 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM.

The undergrads have to take the 12:00 Noon - 1:30 PM time slot, so that they can have a lab session from 3:00 PM - 6:00 PM.

For your guidance.

P Manalastas

===

Bawal ito.

The Magna Carta of Students in the Ateneo de Manila University states that long tests are to be announced one (1) week prior to the schedule of the test. Finals and midterms are supposed to be announced two (2) weeks prior to the schedule of the exam.

Pero ito ako, medyo nagpa-panic pa rin kasi hindi ko alam kung ano ang mangyayari bukas. I'm so inclined to cheat. God, at kakasimula pa lang ng Lenten Season.

Wah. Hell (Expect to See More)

Dahil ilang linggo na lang, March na, andito na naman para bumisita sa aming mga (masisipag) na mag-aaral ng Unibersidad ng Ateneo de Manila ang ultra magnificent and tumultuous deluge of major requirements na may conspiracy ata across all departments of the Loyola Schools dahil for some (unforeseen) reason, sabay-sabay ang kanilang mga deadline, grace period, pass-at-this-time-or-die dates, at kung ano pa man ang tawag nila doon.

Sa katunayan, may paper akong due sa Biyernes para sa Ph102 na 20% ng aking final grade. At ano ang tanong? "Ano ang pilosopiya ng tao?" E teka, hindi ba yan dapat ang itinuro sa amin? Parang hindi pa rin kasi namin alam ang tamang sagot sa tanong na yan, o parang wala talagang tamang sagot pero hinihingan kami ni Mariano ng tamang sagot ayon sa kanyang (omniscient) powers bilang isang instructor ng kursong Ph102? Nakakainis lang kasi Thursday bukas, meaning hanggang hatinggabi na naman kami sa school dahil sa pesteng CS162B na yan. Bah, mangongopya na lang ako, tutal may 1047++++ unread messages si Doc Mana sa kanyang inbox. Malamang yan yung lab submissions namin, ng batch bago namin, at ng batch na bago nang batch na bago sa amin.

Hay. If there was a button than could control time, I would have pressed it now.

Ayaw ko namang sumuko. I mean, isang taon na lang, tapos susuko pa ako?

Damn.