After the tears have fallen, my heart beats once again.
But, I am quite sad because I am unable to express my gratitude to the person responsible for opening my eyes.
---
After purchasing my Compaq Presario B1293TU, I asked Mamie how much we have saved after four regular semesters and two summer semesters of me being a full scholar. She estimated that we have saved almost half a million pesos, since a regular semester in Ateneo now costs almost P80,000.00 and a summer semester costs around P40,000.00. Doing the math in my head, I figured that a regular three-unit subject costs about P7,000.00. I was amazed that a person like me who got D's in a six-unit Math subject figured that one out while pigging the potchero.
I have always wondered where all that tuition went. My professors in school had always complained about their salaries.
While I was riding the front seat of the jeep going to Katipunan, I looked at the giant trees that lined the oval of UP. I tried to remember what they were like when I was young. They were big, small leaved trees whose branches arced and covered the roads like a gentle blanket of fine velvet. As the warm afternoon winds blew, these trees emanated a soothing song like that of an ocean wave gently breaking into the infinite shore, and echoed into the distance. The very same trees would soon shed most of its tiny leaves as the colder days approached. I will never forget the image of trees when its leaves fell like tiny fragments of sorrowful tears falling from the mourning sky, carried and blown by the wind filled with nostalgia.
These trees were just like they were nine years ago. Did they separate from the course of time and stagnate into an eternal state of beauty? Or was it just my memories that faded away as time passed by?
School was just as tiresome as ever. The readings slowly piled up as I took a much needed breather from the tough week that had just passed. Being a junior isn't as easy as being a sophomore because procrastination had always been an ally, well at least until a week ago when my beloved gods of cramming kicked me while I was terribly down.
Were things passing by without me noticing it? Or am I just too preoccupied with my feelings?
But whatever happened, I needed to get my new laptop its sleeves. I scoured each shop located in Araneta Center, but I wasn't successful in my mission to purchase laptop sleeves for a 12" lappy. My feet were numb and my legs were throbbing after walking and standing for hours and my throat was intensely parched from politely inquiring store personnel who were friendly, but I still managed to walk from Gateway to V. Luna. I had to take that walk, besides the reason that there was just too much people hurrying to go home at that time.
I looked at the old sidewalks along East Avenue, and I stared at the cloudy night sky.
Things looked the same, but somewhere along the invisible lines, they felt different. Things still existed the same way they did years ago, but somehow, they enveloped me in such a strange manner.
I hopped in an ordinary bus cramped with people and stayed by the door. Feeling the cool air saturated with uncertainty rushing past my tired face dried the tears that were welling in my eyes. The fake sensation of flying sent infinite images to my confused mind and wounded heart. The distance I traveled and the things that I have felt were enough for me to hold on, and tightly embrace what I now hold important deep within my heart.
But that pain is sweet sorrow, a subtle reminder that we are alive, yearning for security and comfort in the ironies of life.
But, I am quite sad because I am unable to express my gratitude to the person responsible for opening my eyes.
---
After purchasing my Compaq Presario B1293TU, I asked Mamie how much we have saved after four regular semesters and two summer semesters of me being a full scholar. She estimated that we have saved almost half a million pesos, since a regular semester in Ateneo now costs almost P80,000.00 and a summer semester costs around P40,000.00. Doing the math in my head, I figured that a regular three-unit subject costs about P7,000.00. I was amazed that a person like me who got D's in a six-unit Math subject figured that one out while pigging the potchero.
I have always wondered where all that tuition went. My professors in school had always complained about their salaries.
While I was riding the front seat of the jeep going to Katipunan, I looked at the giant trees that lined the oval of UP. I tried to remember what they were like when I was young. They were big, small leaved trees whose branches arced and covered the roads like a gentle blanket of fine velvet. As the warm afternoon winds blew, these trees emanated a soothing song like that of an ocean wave gently breaking into the infinite shore, and echoed into the distance. The very same trees would soon shed most of its tiny leaves as the colder days approached. I will never forget the image of trees when its leaves fell like tiny fragments of sorrowful tears falling from the mourning sky, carried and blown by the wind filled with nostalgia.
These trees were just like they were nine years ago. Did they separate from the course of time and stagnate into an eternal state of beauty? Or was it just my memories that faded away as time passed by?
School was just as tiresome as ever. The readings slowly piled up as I took a much needed breather from the tough week that had just passed. Being a junior isn't as easy as being a sophomore because procrastination had always been an ally, well at least until a week ago when my beloved gods of cramming kicked me while I was terribly down.
Were things passing by without me noticing it? Or am I just too preoccupied with my feelings?
But whatever happened, I needed to get my new laptop its sleeves. I scoured each shop located in Araneta Center, but I wasn't successful in my mission to purchase laptop sleeves for a 12" lappy. My feet were numb and my legs were throbbing after walking and standing for hours and my throat was intensely parched from politely inquiring store personnel who were friendly, but I still managed to walk from Gateway to V. Luna. I had to take that walk, besides the reason that there was just too much people hurrying to go home at that time.
I looked at the old sidewalks along East Avenue, and I stared at the cloudy night sky.
Things looked the same, but somewhere along the invisible lines, they felt different. Things still existed the same way they did years ago, but somehow, they enveloped me in such a strange manner.
I hopped in an ordinary bus cramped with people and stayed by the door. Feeling the cool air saturated with uncertainty rushing past my tired face dried the tears that were welling in my eyes. The fake sensation of flying sent infinite images to my confused mind and wounded heart. The distance I traveled and the things that I have felt were enough for me to hold on, and tightly embrace what I now hold important deep within my heart.
But that pain is sweet sorrow, a subtle reminder that we are alive, yearning for security and comfort in the ironies of life.
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