For the past week, I have noticed that I was sleeping a whole lot later (well earlier to be exact) than before. I was sleeping at around 4-5 am and waking up at noon. Well, for one thing, mosquitoes sting and itch when they bite. I can't light a mosquito coil in my room because it might start a fire or it might kill be due to allergic reactions. The air is also very dry and stale, not to mention it being so hot. But it is weird that my face is clearing of pimples even if I always do a graveyard shift. My eyebags aren't as prominent as before too, I think.
And for the past week, mamie isn't as naggy as before. It's alright for her, well maybe not entirely, of me waking up at noon. I don't know, but she often scolds me if I sleep through the whole morning. But the past week, she wasn't. It was again, weird to see this as she was a person of complete and exact perfection.
I was enjoying the darkness every time I turned of the bright lamp by the computer, sneaked to my bathroom and brush my teeth, and every time I lied on my back until the sandman visits me. The darkness. It is everything to me now. I feel safe when I'm in the dark. I feel secure whenever I sit myself in the corner of my old bed amidst the silent darkness. But I don't like my eyes to be closed. I want them to be wide open in the dark.
Wide open in the dark, searching for some light. Groping for some light.
And yes, I think I am going insane because 4 out of the 5 dreams I remember are about a person whom I dreamed of before and now, I am dreaming of again. It eases my pain whenever I see this person in my dreams, because in reality, I could never ever be with this person.
Sometimes, I wake up at 9. But I go to sleep again.
I wake at 10. Still sleepy.
11 am. Five minutes more, okay?
I shut my eyes for a second, and when I open them, its already half past noon.
I'm hungry, so I get up. The sad thing about waking up so late is that I get to do the dishes, which is having a very itchy and rashy effect on my left palm. Oh well.
Every time I wake up, I feel more and more lethargic. These days, I like being idle a lot.
Maybe I feel lethargic because my blood sugar levels are high or some hormonal imbalance in my body.
Well, I think it's because I am getting tired of life.
But here I am still here.
I'm tired of life.
I'm getting tired of saying I'm tired of life.
I'm getting tired of saying I'm getting tired of saying I'm tired of life.
I'm getting tired of saying I'm getting tired of saying I'm getting tired of saying I'm tired of life.
I'm getting tired of saying I'm getting tired of saying I'm getting tired of saying I'm getting tired of saying I'm tired of life....
2:38 am na. Hindi pa ako inaantok.
*edit*
3:15 na. Wala pa rin. Pero pupunta na ako sa kwarto ko to get some darkness into my eyes.
And for the past week, mamie isn't as naggy as before. It's alright for her, well maybe not entirely, of me waking up at noon. I don't know, but she often scolds me if I sleep through the whole morning. But the past week, she wasn't. It was again, weird to see this as she was a person of complete and exact perfection.
I was enjoying the darkness every time I turned of the bright lamp by the computer, sneaked to my bathroom and brush my teeth, and every time I lied on my back until the sandman visits me. The darkness. It is everything to me now. I feel safe when I'm in the dark. I feel secure whenever I sit myself in the corner of my old bed amidst the silent darkness. But I don't like my eyes to be closed. I want them to be wide open in the dark.
Wide open in the dark, searching for some light. Groping for some light.
And yes, I think I am going insane because 4 out of the 5 dreams I remember are about a person whom I dreamed of before and now, I am dreaming of again. It eases my pain whenever I see this person in my dreams, because in reality, I could never ever be with this person.
Sometimes, I wake up at 9. But I go to sleep again.
I wake at 10. Still sleepy.
11 am. Five minutes more, okay?
I shut my eyes for a second, and when I open them, its already half past noon.
I'm hungry, so I get up. The sad thing about waking up so late is that I get to do the dishes, which is having a very itchy and rashy effect on my left palm. Oh well.
Every time I wake up, I feel more and more lethargic. These days, I like being idle a lot.
Maybe I feel lethargic because my blood sugar levels are high or some hormonal imbalance in my body.
Well, I think it's because I am getting tired of life.
But here I am still here.
I'm tired of life.
I'm getting tired of saying I'm tired of life.
I'm getting tired of saying I'm getting tired of saying I'm tired of life.
I'm getting tired of saying I'm getting tired of saying I'm getting tired of saying I'm tired of life.
I'm getting tired of saying I'm getting tired of saying I'm getting tired of saying I'm getting tired of saying I'm tired of life....
2:38 am na. Hindi pa ako inaantok.
*edit*
3:15 na. Wala pa rin. Pero pupunta na ako sa kwarto ko to get some darkness into my eyes.
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