A Week of Solitude

After a week, nothing has happened.

I want to fix everything that I may have caused harm, but an external force is prohibiting me from doing so.

I don't know.

I tried. But I'm tired. As soon as I stood up, as soon as I took my first step towards happiness, something just hits me somewhere inside my chest that I fall again. After telling myself to just stay down, I give myself another chance and start rising up again...

...only to fall once more...

...and rise in the end...

... to fall again...

...and stand-up...

...only to fall in the end...

...and give myself another chance...

...over...

...and over...

...again.

I wonder.

Maybe I'm just too complicated. A screen emits whenever a potential source of sadness comes near.

I miss them.

But they don't miss me.

Why bother? Tell me, why bother? Why bother bringing the happy days of the past back to the present when things cannot be the same way as they were?

Things change. Things have changed. I have changed.

I know I have time. But the thing is, do they? Will they wait for me?

I'm guessing they won't. I regret to tell myself that they have left me, in some way or another. They have left me, but I understand. It just saddens me to realize I have waited for them if they needed time, while I am here, talking to myself amidst my dark, closed world.

I don't know. I don't want to know.