Borrowed Time Fabricates Reality (A Prelude to Clock Strikes Twenty)

It's just about now that I've realized how simple my life is, if I see things the way things should be looked at. My life is like an unending merry-go-round. I ride on the wooden horse festooned with all sorts of circus dresses and garlands. I hold on to the golden stick which animates the horse its monotonous up and down movements. Stepping on the wooden pegs acting as stirrups driven into the sides of the horse, I feel the hardness and lifelessness of the horse as I ride it. I sit and watch silently as the world passes by, gradually blurring as the lively carousel ride accelerates in a steady unnoticeable rate. My heart starts to beat in rhythm with the slow-paced melody of the music, until my heart beats so slow that my body succumbs to a near fatal shock, and goes into an emotional overdrive and into a state of deep sleep.

I know that I am alive, but I don't know if I am wasting the borrowed time that was bestowed upon me. I really don't know if I am living it the way I'm supposed to live it. Everything I do seems so little, so small, and so minute as compared to the dreams I look into beyond the farthest horizon. I'm not certain if I'm just straining my eyes to truly see what is ahead, or if my eyes are closed and my imagination is fabricating the reality I know exists. Now, I don't really know if my life is simple and less complicated than the lives of others. Maybe it isn't. Maybe it is. I just have to look at my life differently each time I do so. It is for the sake of me realizing the bigger picture my life is intertwined into, or maybe even for the one crimson truth that everyone detests and avoids.

I enter a world of happiness and kill everything happy in it, making it a world of eternal sorrow. I honestly don't know why, but it happens all the time. I recuperate from this destroyed paradise into a buffer state after time strikes its ethereal chimes for infinity. I open my eyes from a slumber mingled with a very deep sense of doom, and find out that everything will be alright. The sun shines again, emanating warmth, light, love, and hope. Flowers blossom as the gentle breezes carry their scent towards the distance. Bare trees turn over its leaves, signaling its beginning to wake from its apparent moment of death.

My heart begins to beat quicker. The heart of the world begins to beat quicker with the harmony of the waves gently crashing into the shores carrying the sands of time. If we could live for an eternity, the meaning of life will not be searched by lost souls. Life, as we know it, is just humans trying to know who they are, what have they become, and what they will become. Life is the infinite tessellation of the relationships of people in search for the meaning of their existence; the reason why time is just lent to them, and not given to them.

Another year passes by. Age doesn't matter, it's how you live your life.